Whew! We made it. We survived the first year of marriage, the year countless people told us would be “the hardest year of marriage.”
Sure it wasn’t always easy, but I would say getting to spend this year with my husband by my side made it the best year of my life so far.
I learned a lot in the past 365+ days about my marriage and myself. I thought I would share just a few that jump out as I reflect on the last year:
- I learned that I can be selfish and prideful. Several wise people told me that was something marriage would teach me. And they were right. Just because I have done something one way doesn’t mean it is the only way it can be done.
- I learned to pray harder. And not to just pray for myself, but to pray for my husband. One of my favorite wedding gifts was a book called “
The Power of A Praying Wife” by Stormee Omartian. I enjoyed it so much, in fact, that I have given a copy to nearly every friend I have known to get married since. It has taught me to pray for my husband in the most detailed ways—to pray about his job, his decisions, his spiritual life, his insecurities and more.
- I learned that I can cook! One of my biggest fears about getting married (this is pathetic) was that I would have to cook for another person. I didn’t cook much in college and when I did, I only cooked for myself because I was too insecure about it to cook for someone else. Once I discovered the joy of Pinterest, I learned that cooking is actually pretty easy and can sometimes be fun. I’m grateful too to have a husband who shares in the cooking experience with me, and if something does get burned or just tastes gross, we simply laugh about it.
- I learned that it’s OK to ask for help. Take for instance the time I was reaching for the cocoa on the top counter. I stood so tall on my tip-toes to try and coerce it off the shelf and to my hands. Instead, I coerced it off the shelf and to my head and then all over my clothes. I have always been fairly independent, but that doesn’t mean I should try to do everything myself. Plus, I think my husband takes pride in being able to reach to the top shelf.
- I learned that it takes compromise and sacrifice to make decisions together. We have, in fact, made some huge decisions. We decided where to live, how to manage our money, where to give money, what car to buy and where to go next. We learned quickly that praying about those decisions actually makes them easier to make.
- I learned that I hate sleeping alone. We have had to spend quite a few nights apart since our marriage because of our work taking us different places. But I don’t like those nights, and I especially don’t like those mornings. I would rather wake up next to my husband, even if he’s grumpy, any day than wake up alone.
- I learned that budgeting and saving money has its rewards. When it came time to buy Matt a new truck, I wasn’t worried at all. I knew we had been saving well because I had been monitoring our account each month. When it came time to decide how to pay for it, we wrote a check for the full amount. What a wonderful feeling it was to know we owned the truck as soon as we walked out the door!
Some of these lessons were hard to learn, while others were fun. Either way, I’m glad I’ve learned them. The future holds mistakes and tears but also joy and laughter. I just pray I’m willing to learn whatever it takes to make our marriage stronger.
What are some lessons you learned in your first year of marriage? I imagine there are some great stories out there. Whether they’re sweet lessons, hard lessons or comical lessons, I would LOVE to hear them! Please share them in the comments section below.
One year down. A lifetime to go. Here’s to many more years of learning life lessons together!
These great photos from our wedding day were taken by Brittany Skelton Photography. Check out more of her work at brittanyskelton.com.
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